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Monthly Archives: October 2014

The death of Robin Williams  this August highlighted the impact suicide has on us as a society, as people, as family members, and as individuals. Suicide affects us all. It also brought with it bittersweet memories of the losses my family has experienced over the years.

Suicide doesn’t just silence the life of the one who died, it touches all of those left who loved that person. Too many times have I felt that icy, empty touch. It never leaves you. Missing a couple of very special people today…

These were my words the day after Williams died. Those two people were my step-brother Mike and my former father-in-law Kenny. My siblings also lost their own father to suicide (Mike’s Dad too) and I know that he was in their thoughts that day as well. Mike left two boys along with the rest of us, grieving, wondering why… how…what if… if only we could turn back time.

Today is the 8th anniversary of Mikey’s death. He was always our favorite. The one who enjoyed making others laugh. He was cute and the girls loved him. He loved horses. He was creative, he could draw, paint, write poetry. I always loved the summers Mikey spent with us because he brought so much fun into our home. I remember the sleepovers with my friends when Mike was home, oh did we have fun. We all remember the time he danced his “Swan Lake” in our living room, wearing my Mom’s exercise unitard… oh we laughed until we cried. Or nights we watched horror movies and Michael went outside to make noises and scare us out of our wits! He had personality. And a lot of friends. This smiling face is what I remember when I think of Michael Wayne… and laughter and love.

Mike with his Mom, Kay.

Mike with his Mom, Kay. Photo source: Facebook


The memes about suicide were flooding my feed on Facebook for a solid week after William’s death, but the one that I remember was this simple photo.

Photo credit tumblr.

Photo credit tumblr.


Photo by Thing 1

Photo by Thing 1

Taken out the kitchen door, looking westerly.

Photo taken by Thing 1

Photo taken by Thing 1

Our tree trio. Thing 1 likes to take pictures of these trees.

Cletus is my nickname for my sister, and her’s for me (one of them anyway). Yeah, we both call each other Cletus. It stems from our favorite scene from our favorite movie to watch together (well, outside of anything that Johnny Depp stars in) The Nutty Professor.

We can sit and watch that movie over and over and recite the lines together, it’s quite amusing… usually with Moscato in the equation. 😉

Today is Cletus’ birthday. Her second one away from me. She is missing from me.

I miss all of my family and having their smiling faces around of course! 

So I sit here, thinking about all of our fun times and wishing her the bestest birthday ever! ❤ Hoping that one of these days we’ll get to sit down together and watch The Nutty Professor again… and laugh at our own silliness. While drinking some Moscato of course!