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Daily Archives: June 15th, 2013

I’d been afraid of changing ’cause I’d built my life around you,
But life makes you bolder and even children get older,
And I’m getting older too…

I had been afraid of changing because I had built my life around certain people, certain ideals, certain expectations. Once I acknowledged my heart, what I’ve known for a long time, the changes didn’t seem so radical. The fear seemed to subside. Certainly there is apprehension at the unknown, but not fear.

My brother said something to me before I left. He said “do you remember when I was leaving for Ft. Leonard Wood and you told me “I hope you find what you are looking for?” I said “yes, I remember that, “he went on to say “well, I hope you find what you are looking for.” I hugged my brother, told him that I had found what I was looking for, that I loved him and said goodbye.

When I said that to my brother all those years ago, I was referring to a spiritual hole that he was desperately searching to fill. That hole has been filled in me for many years. However, I think that my brother is wiser than he gets credit for many times. There is something I’m searching for. Something just below the surface. Something that I get glimpses of now and then, but I need to see fully.

Yes brother, I do believe that I will find what I’m looking for.

And the landslide will bring it to me.